Different Tune to the Same Song
by Twisted Kitten
Summary: A modern day Middle-earth? Unlikly room mates? The Istari are in their twenties? The fellowship in high school? Galadriel's a cheerleader? Sauron's a goth? Aragorn's a teenager? What the heck is going on around here?!
1. Default Chapter

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By:Kitty-chan  
Chapter 1: Many Not So Good Meetings  
  
Author Notes: These characters don't belong to me. They belong to Mr. Tolkien yet I have altered them quite a bit (ex: someone who was father and son will be older and younger brothers instead). This story starts out in a modern day Middle-earth and its basicly the story of the Ring if it came about in a different time. Well, enjoy!  
  
  
The Middle-earth University lay north of the Shire near the mirror like lake Evendim... but what the hell I'm not has talented has Tolkien so I willn't get in to deep about the setting. The important thing is you know where the hell I'm talking about... you don't... WELL THERES A MAP IN THE BOOK DON'T ASK ME!!!   
  
Now where was I?   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The hobbit waved good-bye to his teen-aged cousin and walked forward onto the campus with his last box of things in his arms. He looked looked around foundly and headed toward his dorm.  
  
-I'm finally here! No longer sitting around at Bag-End. There's fine single ladies and I'm FINALLY able to legally drink.- The young Bilbo Baggins smirked to himself.  
  
He entred his empty dorm to find it not so empty.  
  
His room mate had arrived and he was a young dwarf with a nicely trimed go-tee and was busyly setting up a playstation system. The dwarf looked up has Bilbo walked in. He smiled and said, "So, you must be Bilbo?"  
  
"Yes, and you must be Thorin."  
  
"Thats me, so ya ever play Twisted Metal."  
  
Another smirk speard on Bilbo's face. -This is gonna be a very promising year indeed.-  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The twenty-one year old wizard sulked down the hallway. If he had to be Saruman's room mate for another year than he was going to have to kill himself. -Wait, than Saruman would want to sell my remains on Ebay. That wouln't be the wisest thing you've done, Gandalf.-  
  
He sighed at the thought and decided if Saruman said so much has 'hello' to him, heads where gonna roll. He opened the door with a jerk and stepped in the reveal that know one was inside.   
  
Just before he could contemplate the idea that he would get his own room, he was knocked over has a box full of cloths littered all over him. Gandalf looked over at the intruder to see a young man also cluttered with laundry and an empty laundry basket wrapped in his arms.  
  
"Crap, I'm sorry. You must be Gandalf. Such a shame we had to meet like this.", said the man has he pulled a dirty sock off the brim of Gandalf's baseball cap.  
  
"And you are?"  
  
"Isildur.", he plainly said and stood up than held out a hand to help Gandalf up.  
  
Before he could stand someone else came running into the room and knocked them over again. "Damnit, Aragorn! What did I tell you about doing that!?!", protested Isildur.  
  
Isildur's younger brother, Aragorn stood there with a smile. He seemed to be in his teens and still attending High School. "Couldn't help it. Brotherly habit.", Aragorn said with a toothy smile has if daring his older brother to come after him.  
  
Isildur smirked than said, "Gandalf here is a wizard. I wouldn't need to chase you if thats what you where thinking. Now, get back to the car before he turns you into a troll or something of that kind."  
  
"I'm not a little kid anymore. I don't believe in such folk tales."  
  
Gandalf stood to his full height and looked down on young Aragorn and said, "Really, well seeing is believing." He snaped his fingers and a flicker of blue flame jumped from him fingers.  
  
Aragorn jumped back than muttered, "I'll be going now." He than turned and ran down the hall.  
  
"I shall call you Strider for you are not nearly running fast enought!.", shouted Gandalf after him with Isildur's snickering in the background.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Saruman halted infront of his door. The young wizard paused and than shuddered. Out of all the people in the school he had to dorm with Smeagol. I shy student that made no friends and people couldn't help but fell sorry for him. The nickname around campus for him was Gollum for he studdered and had a voice smilliar to that of an un-broke teenager. It was also rumored that he had split personalities.  
  
Saruman shrugged off the thought and went in. Smeagol was small and thin for a young adult male. He sat quitly on his bed while reading a thick book. He didn't even look up or take notice of Saruman. He just sat there and went on reading.  
  
Saruman grabed his bookbag and left. He than headed to east campus in hopes of fiding Gandalf so he could make this year another living hell for him.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Beorn yawned and watched has his long time friend and soon to be room mate drove. Elrond an elf from Rivendall sighed and forced himself to stay awake.   
  
"Maybe I should take a turn.", said the well built young man with a tattoo of a snarling brown bear upon his right arm.  
  
"Don't worry. We're almost to campus. I just don't wanna hit an Ent or anything."  
  
"Why an Ent? Out of all thing you say an Ent."  
  
"Cuz its the only thing that could kill us but walk away with only a few burnt leaves."  
  
Beorn shook his head at his elven friend. -To think that one day Elrond would be in charge of the Last Homely Home. It seems unlikly but I guess all Elves are a tad bit "different" in there young adult years.-  
  
The car ride went on in peace and with little conversation.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The young man had short dark black hair, a pale face, and was clothed has a goth. He pushed the door of his dorm open with his shoulder for in his arms was a fairly large box.   
  
"Hello! You must be my room mate! Well, I'm Celeborn! Nice To Meet You! Can I help you with your boxes?", said the golden haired elf has he grabed onto the box and tried to pull it from his unwilling room mate.  
  
"I'd rather you not.", reasponed the voice on the other side. -Sweet mother of Barad-Dur! Don't tell me I've been cursed to stay with this, this ELF!-  
  
The goth sighed and let go of the box. The elf and the box went crashing to the floor. Celebrant looked up sheepishly than said, "Hey! You'r one of those weird kids from Mordor!"  
  
Celeborn looked at the name in marker on the side of the box. "Sour-ron?"  
  
"It's Sauron you twit. It's my name.", responed the goth.  
  
"Oohhhh! I see it now!"  
  
-Ignore urge to hang him on my dash board like fuzzy dice. Ignore urge to hang him on my dash board like fuzzy dice. Ignore urge to hang him on my dash board like fuzzy dice. Ignore urge to hang him on my dash board like fuzz...-  
  
"You wanna play Hang Man or something?"  
  
"Sure, where's the rope?", mummbled Sauron  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tom Bombadil sighed and waited for the arrivel of his room mate called Theoden a young lad from Rohan. Tom jumped has the door quickly swung open and shut but it wasn't Theoden it was a young man in baggy jeans and a gray t-shirt.  
  
"Shhhhhh!", he wispered to Tom. "Can I hide in here a moment? I'm trying to avoid someone."  
  
Tom shrugged than said, "Sure, it's fine with me."  
  
"Great, by the way I'm Gandalf and I live in the dorm across from you."  
  
"Nice to meet you. I'm Tom."  
  
The room went silent again has Saruman walked by while calling, "Here Gandy Gandy."  
  
"What does he think I'm an idiot?", sighed Gandalf has soon has Saruman got out of ear shot.  
  
"Well, I better be going now. Be sure to come to my party it's on Friday and bring your room mate oh and booze.", said the wizard has he left.  
  
Theoden came in a secent later, "Who was that guy?"  
  
"Oh, some wizard. So what are you doing Friday night?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Galadriel cleared her throat has she looked down upon the offender. Goldberry stood beside her with a frown. Saruman slowly shut the door he was peering into and turned around to face the angery elves.  
  
"So what is it you find so intresting that could be in our dorm? Could it be we have a peeping privert amongst us?", groweled the elven Galadriel.  
  
"Look you don't understand. I was merly looking for someone. I didn't mean any harm. Honest!", coward the young wizard.  
  
"Sure, thats what they all say but we don't buy it so now you will face the wrath of two very pissed off elven bitch's!", said Goldberry has she dripped with anger.  
  
Oh, crap! You really sank deep into the shit pot this time. Thought Saruman has he gulped with fear. You do not want to piss off elven women.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"We finally made it!", said Elrond with a sigh. He than clasped on the lower bunk and fell asleep in mere secents. Beorn might have done the same if it wasn't for the loud thud against the wall. He looked over at his elven friend who was unphased so he went out side to investegate.   
  
Out in the hall there was a wizard that must have been caught without his staff. For he was hanging on the wall by a coat hook and was bound and gagged. By the knots that where tied in an elven style he could tell this was done by elves.  
  
Beorn was about to let the struggeling wizard free until someone tapped his shoulder. The young man turned around to see another wizard in a gray T-shirt standing before him.  
  
"Hi, I'm Gandalf. Don't let him go and believe me it isn't worth it. Be sure to come to my party and farwell.", the wizard turned and left. He was has quickly gone has he had quickly appeared. Beorn shrugged and left Saruman hanging in his place on the wall.  
  
  
Please find the time to review. I would be very happy if you did. I know its short but the on the next chapter we go to the dreaded High School (insert violent shudder). For the hell of it just tell me who your looking forward to seeing in High School. 


	2. Surviving Middle-earth High

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By: Kitty-chan  
Chapter 2: Surviving Middle-earth High   
  
Author Note: Well, well. We meet again O friendly reader. So, you wanna know what its like being a teenager in Middle-earth. You've come to the right place! Thanks for reviewing but now its on to the story  
  
  
"Never play hacky sack with an elf! Thats my motto.", frowned Gimli has he looked up at his hacky sack that rested on the window ledge of the second story of the High School.  
  
"How was I supposed to know it would go that far! You should have been paying attention.", shoot back Legolas has they stood in the outside courtyard.  
  
"It was my hacky sack! I'll never get old Betsy back!"  
  
"Old Betsy? Don't tell me you named that cheap bag of sand!"  
  
Aragorn was tired of wasting his lunch time which the students refured to has a blessing. "Come on, we could get it back. What room is that window to?", he entervined.  
  
"The computer lab but you know the windows don't open in there anyway. Don't you see? She's gone forever!", answered the dwarf.  
  
"Don't be unreasonable we'll just... er... knock it down!", said Aragorn has he grabed a stone out of the grass.  
  
"Uh... Aragorn, I don't think thats a good idea. What if you miss?", pestered Legolas.  
  
"I willn't!", he replied and hurled the stone towards the hacky sack.  
  
The shatter of glass followed and Aragorn muttered, "I think... we should leave know."  
  
The trio ran for the Art Building and once safe inside, they relaxed again. "I told you it was a dumb idea but has long has they don't know it's us.", the elf shrugged.  
  
"Oh, crap! My name was on the hacky sack!", shouted Gimli.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I've been hit.", moaned Pippin from the floor.  
  
"Geez, that looked like it hurt.", said Merry has he looked upon his downed friend.  
  
"Guess what? It did! I was on the computer and BAM! I was hit by a rock like a bat outta hell!", wined Pippin.  
  
"Must be your Tookish bad luck.", said Samwise from a nearby desk. He looked over at Frodo who was asleep with his head laying in a pool of his on drool.   
  
"Wake up Frodo. I have to get revenge upon Gimli!", shouted Pippin.  
  
"Gim who?", mubbled the hobbit.  
  
"The name on the hacky sack.", said Merry with a nod.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So your trying to skip sixth period and you need us because...?", Boromir quetioned.  
  
"We need a ride outta this shit hole!", grummbled Gimli.  
  
"But Aragorn has a car.", pointed out Faramir.  
  
"Like we wanna be caught ridding in that ghetto-piece a shit-car.", put in Legolas.  
  
"Hey!", protested Aragorn.  
  
"Sorry but it's true."  
  
"And I suppose your gonna pick up chicks on your bike!"  
  
"Guys! Shut-up!", said Eomer has his rubbed his temples. "Lets just find out who's going to the mall. Only five people can fit."  
  
"I'll drive and these three are going to but I need one more.", said Boromir.  
  
"Who said you get to drive? It's both our car.", protested Faramir.  
  
"Yeah but I'm the oldest and the keys are in my pocket. So, who's the fifth?"  
  
"I am." came a female voice that was not there before. They all turned to see Eomer's sister, Eowyn.  
  
"Hey, thats not fair.", objected Faramir.  
  
"To bad cuz Arwen's already at the mall and waiting for me. I'm coming, if you like it or not.", she said has she walked by Aragorn and gave him the boob brush, a hopeless flirts favorite strategy.  
  
"Dude, is she a tease or what?", whispered Legolas to Aragorn.  
  
Eomer who heard the comment looked rather pissed from the elf's words.  
  
"Uh, I'll just be getting in the car right about now.", said the elf.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Faramir! Do you think you could give us a ride to Papa Gaffer's Pizza?", said Frodo with a smile.  
  
"Sorry, little hobbit dudes but Boromir's taking Gimli, Ara..."  
  
"Gimli! The foe! Where are they headed?", interupted Pippin.  
  
"Uh... the mall.", said Faramir in bewilderment.  
  
"Than thats where we must go! Hey... wheres Eomer?", said Merry.  
  
"Uh... he went off somewhere with Elladan and Elrohir. So, how are you getting to the mall?"  
  
"Public Transit! Off! To the bus stop!", beamed Sam.  
  
"Wait up. I'm coming to.", said Faramir has he went off with the four hobbits.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The two humans, an elf, and a dwarf entered Spencer's. Eowyn had left them the first second she reached the mall. Aragorn looked threw the trinkets and heard a voice he had not expected.  
  
"Well, well. If it isn't Strider."  
  
Aragorn looked to the voice that came from behind the counter. "Gandalf, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I work here. More like, what are you doing here?", replied the wizard.  
  
"Er... uh... I.... It was a half day.", lied Aragorn.  
  
"Sure.", said Gandalf for he had seen right threw the fib. Out of the coner of his eye he spoted four hobbits that wondered in. Faramir had made a stop at the arcade which meant that he would be there for hours. (Picture the fellowship all cramed inside Spencer's)  
  
Boromir, Gimli, and Legolas had wandered to the back to play with the black lights and lava lamps. After a while of shopping around, Sam leaned over to Frodo and wispered, "Look at that guy at the counter. He's been watching us this whole time."  
  
Frodo watched the young man has he left the counter and joined the other three in the back. Frodo walled up the counter and asked the cashier, "Who is that guy?"  
  
"Oh, thats just Strider or so I call him.", repeiled Gandalf.  
  
Merry walked toward the back with Pippin in follow. Merry had spotted someone he knew and walked up to Boromir.  
  
  
"Hello, Boromir! So, whom are your friends", said Merry has he smiled up at him.  
  
"Oh, hey Merry. This is Aragorn, Gimli, Lego..."  
  
He was cut off by Pippin's loud gasp, "Tis you! The bastard who hit me with a rock. I shall give you an ass kicking. Hobbit style!"  
  
"It wasn't me with the bad aim it was Ara...", Gimli was cut short.  
  
"What do you call this, than?", shouted Pippin has he held up the hacky sack.  
  
"Besty! You saved her!", shouted the dwarf has he hugged Pippin to the point of almost blacking out.  
  
Merry who thought Gimli was attacking Pippin, kicked him in the shin. The dwarf tripped and bashed his shoulder into a tall shelf. A lava lap fell from the top self and shattered over Legolas's head. He was out cold and blue glop stained and intangled in his bright blond hair.  
  
"Great, I bet this never happens at Hot Topic.", said Gandalf has he rolled his eyes and left the counter to help.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Legolas woke up and his brain throbbed like Rammstein was having a concert inside his head. He looked around at the people who stood around his bed.   
  
"Wow, I think I just had a near death experience.", muttered the elf.  
  
"Sorry, not even close.", answer Gandalf.  
  
"You mean unfortunatly.", corrected Gimli who was petting his hacky sack like a beloved cat.  
  
"Your the one that hit the shelf."  
  
"Well, Pippin showed up."  
  
Pippin protested, "Don't blame this on me! Aragorn hit me!"  
  
"Well, Legolas got the damn thing stuck in the first place", said Aragorn to defend himself.  
  
"It's because of Gimli's Betsy that where in this mess. Wait, where am I?", asked Legolas with sudden realization.  
  
"Your at my house in Bag-end.", answered Frodo.  
  
"That color really suits you, Lego.", said Boromir has he held back his laughter.  
  
"What?", questioned the dumbfounded elf.  
  
Sam handed him a mirror. The first thing he noticed was that instead of his blond locks they where blue. The poor elf hung his head in shame.  
  
Gandalf sighed, "Well, I have an essay to write and a party to plan. I'll be going now. See ya."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back at the College Dormitory, something evil is taking shape... well at least it's trying too. "Whatcha doin?", said Celeborn has he peered over Sauron's shoulder.  
  
"For the last time, I'm making a ring."  
  
"Why?", said the elf after a moment.  
  
"Because, I enjoy wasting my free time in here with you.", growled the goth.  
  
Celeborn didn't see his sarcsum and picked up the piece of paper that was beside his reluctant roomie. "One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.", read aloud the elf.  
  
The elf thought a moment than said, "Sauron, you never told me you where a poet! So many hidden talents you have!"  
  
"Tell anyone and I shall impale you."  
  
"Impale?"  
  
"Nevermind."  
  
"Hey, the pen that writes the fire writing is pretty neat."  
  
"Okay, that does it! I've gone threw nineteen rings and screwed up on all of them. YOU LEAVE NOW!", said the Dark Lord to be who had now lost his patients.  
  
The elf got all watery eyed and said, "B... but I live here too."  
  
He sighed and handed him three of the rings, "Go give these to your friends."  
  
"Oh, goody!", cheered the elf and hugged Sauron than left. O_o  
  
Sauron the goth decided to keep nine rings and give them to some jocks that needed decieving. Hell, everyone sould give into there dark side, sometimes. He tossed the other seven out the window and into a group of drunken dwarves. Than he went to work on The Ring.   
  
  
Short but sweet. Next chapter is Gandalf's big party at Isengard. Tell me who you really want to see in a druken state. Chow. 


	3. Fridays are for Partying! (part 1)

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By: Kitty-chan  
Chapter 3: Fridays are for Parting! (part 1)  
  
  
AN: Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Looks like by the reviewer's votes that Sauron is getting dead ass drunk if he likes it or not :P. And I thought the Dark Lord was unloved. Tee He He  
  
  
Boromir came down the isle of the bus and sat down beside Aragorn in the back seat. Legolas and Gimli soon got on and sat in the seat in front of them.  
  
"Hey, did ya here that Eowyn and Arwen are going to that big party down at Isengard.", said Legolas who was turned around in the seat to face Boromir and Aragorn.  
  
"Whoa, I heard it was gonna be just college students and a lot of beer.", replied Aragorn.  
  
"I wouldn't take the chance of sneaking in. I mean those chicks are under age.", thought Gimli aloud.  
  
"Shut-up, your making those two women sound like they have more balls than us.", said Boromir with a glare.  
  
"I say we pick up our little hobbit buddies and head down there!", said Faramir from the seat across from his brother.  
  
"Yeah, I bet you anything that Elladan and Elrohir got Eomer to tag along too. Why shouldn't we show up?", pondered Aragorn.  
  
"Because of one word: cops! Where under the legal age!", reminded Legolas.  
  
"Yeah but we gotta live while we're young.", countered Boromir.  
  
"Come on Legolas. Just do has I do and give into peer pressure.", put in Gimli.  
  
"Fine but I highly doubt that Frodo and the others would be interested.", gave in Legolas.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"A party with beer and babes! Cool! Count me in!", cheered Merry.  
  
"Are there really gonna be college chicks there!", piped Pippin.  
  
"You heard right and Legolas thought you wouldn't be interested.", said Aragorn with a smile.  
  
"Like hell we are! Lets go!", rejoiced Frodo.  
  
"I might finally get layed!", Sam said a little to loudly.  
  
Everyone in the room gave him odd stares and it became strangly quite. Boromir broke the silence, "Anyway... like Aragorn was saying, we should keep a low profile. Since some of our older sibling might be there."  
  
"By the way, thats a nice hat Legolas. Still have blue hair?", questioned Merry.  
  
Legolas frowned than pouted, "Yes, but it's only the roots now. I never realized how hard it was to wash that blue crap off."  
  
"Well, la-de-da. Enought on Lego's hair. We have a party to get too! Lets make this Friday night promising.", Frodo bounced with excitment.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"You always have to bitch, bitch, bitch.", grummbled Gandalf.  
  
"Well! If you plan a party at Isengard you have to tell ALL the Istari!", pouted Saruman has they stood outside the tower.  
  
"I did, just not you! Look, people will be showing up soon. I need you to play bouncer. Don't let anyone in thats not on the list. Got it!"  
  
Saruman nodded than said, "What will you be doing?"  
  
"I'm the DJ and the host. Gotta a problem with that?"  
  
"Well, yeah. I'll miss the party while standing outside."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nevermind. I gotta um... check on the kegs.", lied Gandalf has he rushed back into the tower.  
  
Later that night...  
  
"Bilbo and Thorin, your on here. Tom and Theoden, yes.", Saruman said has he let another wave of party goers in.  
  
Saruman watched has two more car loads of people drove up. "Goldberry, Galadriel, Elrond, and Beorn. Your clear. Hold up Sauron your on here but who are these nine?"  
  
"They WHERE Ted, Mike, John, Joe, Steve, Andy, Ryan, Tim, and Kyle.", replied Sauron.  
  
Saruman looked at the nine who wore the same outfits: black baggy jeans and black hooded sweatshirts that shadowed over there faces. "I thought they where jockes. What I see now are goths."  
  
"Yes... well it could be worse. They could still be jockes."  
  
"Yeah well there not on the list because Gandy didn't invite jockes so they aren't coming in!"  
  
Sauron cringed than muttered, "I'll... be your friend."  
  
"Okie-dokie! They can come in. Hey, wheres your roomie. He was invited."  
  
"Uh... well... he's... um... kinda busy." (Flash to scene of Celeborn bound, gagged, and shoved into the closet).  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Shhhh! Be very quite. We need to find a way in.", wispered Faramir has himself and the other eight crawled threw the thick, dark forest.  
  
"Well no shit Sherlock!", mubbled Pippin.  
  
"Well screw you Watson!", shot back Faramir.  
  
"Will you two shut the hell up!", grummbled Gimli.  
  
"Quite, I hear something.", said Legolas.  
  
"Come on Lego, your always hearing shit.", put in Boromir.  
  
"No, I heard it to!", said Frodo with a nod.  
  
"But your always hearing shit too!", Merry said but Sam nudged him when the sound of a twig braking from afar could be heard by all.  
  
"I'll go investagate.", reassured Aragorn but has soon has steped out of the clearing he tripped over something.  
  
"It's Rosie! What is she doing out here?", gasped Sam has he pointed at what Aragorn tripped over (a keen ranger my ass).  
  
"I told you I heard something!", yelled Rosie into the woods behide her. Out stepped Eowyn, Eomer, Arwen, Elladan, and Elorhir.  
  
Eowyn put her hands on her hips and said, "Well, well. What would you nine be doing out here?"  
  
"Same thing has you six. Trying to sneak into the party.", replied Legolas.  
  
"Six? You mean seven.", corrected Eomer.  
  
"Seven my ass! You can't count!", protested Gimli but just than Haldir fell out of his tree and landed on him.  
  
"Shit, what did I land on? A rock?", grummbled Haldir.  
  
"Naw, just Gimi.", shrugged Merry.  
  
"Nimmble wood elf my ass.", mummbled Aragorn.  
  
"Look who's talking!", answered Haldir.  
  
"Well, theres no way in unless someone can think up a plan.", said Arwen to change the subject.  
  
"I have just the plan.", said Aragorn with a grin.  
  
"What would that be?", said Rosie who was now standing.  
  
"Everybody, gather up all the money you have.", Aragorn annouced.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Steve the Nazgul walked over to the DJ table where Gandalf sat. "May I help you?", questioned the wizard.  
  
"I have a requessst.", said Steve the Nazgul with a very hissing voice.  
  
"Okay, whats wrong with Linkin Park, Blink-182, and Limp Bizkit."  
  
"My Lord would like to here sssomething of hisss tassstesss."  
  
"Lord, huh? Well if it Britney, BSB, and/or *Nsync it willn't by heard by any Lord of any kind tonight."  
  
"More like Godsssmack, Rob ZZombie, and Maryiln Manssson."  
  
"Can do.", said Gandalf with a smile.  
  
Else where...  
  
"I say we slash the tires to Elrond's cars and steal his *hick* hub caps.", giggled Galadriel evily.  
  
"What did I do? I love Ritz Bitz! I luv Cheetos! I wuv me booze!", said a slumped over Elrond.  
  
"Man, when elves get smashed they do it hard and quick.", noted Bilbo.  
  
"Aw... elves drink like wussies. With there light beer and mixed drinks. But the dwarves, we go straight for the hard liqueur and vodka!", smiled Thorin has he took another swig of vodka.  
  
"Forget you! Rum and ale are the way to go!", shouted Beorn louder than was needed.  
  
"Where is my damn martini glass!", said Theoden who was crawling on the floor with his martini glass on the table.  
  
Half the Nazgul where already passed sombre. Galadriel latched onto one of the Nazgul and said with a slur, "I wanna gothy boy for Chirstmas. I gotta pretty wring from elfie Cela-cela-born, where is dat wacky little elfie. A wring from dat naughty little boy Sauron, yup that pretty little gothy!"  
  
"Hey, can I have a gothy too!", wimpered Elrond.  
  
"NO! They belong to me. You can have a Goll-meagol.", said Galadriel with a crazy smile.  
  
"They are so wasted.", Bilbo mummbled.  
  
"Anyone ssseen SSSauron?", questioned a Nazgul.  
  
"He went in the back room with Isildur.", said Beorn.  
  
"Ooppsies, they must be having a funny game. Come on gothy Nazzagul, lets help Elronny-dey chase Smea-llumy", smiled Galadriel who was starting to make no sense.  
  
Most everyone headed to the back room and soon has the door opened they could tell Sauron and Isildur where having a drinking game from the two shotglasses, five empty bottles on the table, and four still full ones.  
  
"I challenge thee O tubby Gondor man! Wit my predie little wring and... and... it predie, no?", slurred the goth has he downed another shot.  
  
"I like goldie thingies wit... wit. Hey, are yo eyes really wred?", mummbled Isldur.  
  
"Naw ah! Tubby try to trick me! Tiz me secert! No tell but I tell you dis! I shall rule the world! Muhaahaahaa!"  
  
They notice the group of specktators that has gathered around. Sauron jumps out of his seat and into Galadriel's arms.  
  
"I'm gonna get a pet cheerleader for my Birthday.", he cheered.  
  
Isildur rips Gollum out of Elrond arms, "My kitty!"  
  
Elrond becomes a weeping heap on the floor but than notices Bilbo and a smirk grows on his face. Bilbo who was still somber, dropped his beer and ran.  
  
  
To be continued.... don't you just hate me for this. It's not nearly over, the night is still young and part 2 of chapter 3 is just begging to be written. 


	4. Fridays are for Partying! (part 2)

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By: Kitty-chan  
Chapter 3: Fridays are for Partying! (part 2)  
  
AN: The second part of the party. Full of drunken fun and acts that will be regretted in the morening. Also, find out how Isildur REALLY got the One Ring.  
  
  
Bilbo crawled under Gandalf's table and hid there for has long has possible. They had a sombre conversation while Gandalf kept the music going. Meanwhile, Elrond gave up and decided to find out if Sauron would share Galadriel (how kinky and wrong this sounds but remember their minds have been reduced to that of children by good ol' boozes).  
  
Tom and Goldberry (who's hair and clothing were distorted... I wonder why and where were they the first half of the night. I'll let your wacko mind do the work :D ) started reciting "Grease" songs. At that point, Gandalf cranked the music loader to drown them out. Thorin was now dancing around and pretending to be Aaron Carter (scary). Theoden was passed out on the Lazy Boy and Beorn was chugging down a bottle of rum.  
  
Outside the madness...  
  
  
"Aragorn, is this such a good idea?", questioned Legolas.  
  
"Of course it is! My plans never fail.", replied Aragorn.  
  
"Right... what about that rock you hit Pip with. I warned against that.", reminded Legolas.  
  
"Are you always a smart aleck pain in the ass? We really need to get you drunk.", mummbled Aragorn has he led the way towards the door to the tower. Saruman halted them has soon has they reached him.  
  
"Sorry, no yougens at this party. Those are the rules of Gandy."  
  
"Well, I think you'll be letting us in soon. We may have to wait a while but you'll understand when the times comes.", said Aragorn with a cocky smile.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Gandalf turned down the tunes when everyone decided they wanted to watch a movie. They all gathered around the television with beer and popcorn. Most where shoved on the couch but some sat on he floor. The next challenge would be for everyone to decide and agree upon a movie.  
  
"Oooowwww, Titanic!", said Elrond giddiely.   
  
"Your only saying that because your drunk and there's nudity.", grummbled Gandalf for he was the only one sane enought to work the VCR.  
  
"I Know What You did Last Summer?", questioned Goldberry.  
  
"Really? Okay than miss ESP what was it?", questioned Beorn.  
  
"No, she means dat movie!", corrected Thorin.  
  
"Star Wars!", chipped Galadriel.  
  
"Which one?", asked Bilbo.  
  
"Return of the Jedi!", said Sauron but by his odd smile you could tell he wasn't fully correct up stairs.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Cuz... um... cuz... my ideal is in it!"  
  
Isildur nodded, "I always saw you has a Darth Vader... er... except with red eyes and black nail polish."  
  
"Realy? Personally I see you has a very tubby Han Solo."  
  
"Can I please play the movie know?", interupted Gandalf.  
  
"Quite! Don't interupt the Dark Lord while he's rambling!", said Sauron with a childish frown.  
  
"If only the sombre version of you can see you know.", mummbled Gandalf has he put the movie in.   
  
Darth Vader only got threw half his, "Luke, I am your father." line when a Nazgul made a horrible screech and beckoned everyone's attention.   
  
"Oh, dear lord! We ran out of booze! I didn't even get wasted at my own party yet!", protested Gandalf.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn smirked at the sounds of various screams from inside. "Well, that must be our que."  
  
Just than, Gandalf ran out and said hurriedly to Saruman, "Do you a hundred for another keg."  
  
"Nope, I don...", before he could finish, Gandalf shushed him and turned to the teenagers with a blank exprestion.  
  
That was broken when Aragorn waved a new hundred dollar bill in front of him. "Okay, so what do you want?", gave in Gandalf.  
  
"Access to the party and to the beer."  
  
"Let's see here... chance a police raid or get the keg, chance a police raid or... get the keg. Hmmm... I'll have to go with the keg!" (Responsible wizard my ass!)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Man, getting drunk is harder than I thought.", complained Eowyn has she looked at her beer.  
  
"What do ya mean, luv?", asked Arwen with a bleech and a twisted smile.  
  
"What is wrong with her?", questioned Eomer.  
  
"Uh... elf thing.", replied his sister.  
  
Arwen cackled and let out a deep scream that would put most heavy metal bands to shame. She proceeded to dance around like a head banger until unexpecting Aragorn bumped into her. "Well, hullo there you sexy lil bitch.", grined Arwen up at Aragorn.  
  
"Riiiiight, are you sure all she had was wisky?"  
  
Eowyn shrugged, "Elves and beer don't mix but... she is right about that sexy bitch thing."  
  
"Aragorn, I'll bet you fifty bucks that you'll be raped by one of these woman.", commented Faramir.  
  
"It's not rape if he wants it", pointed out Boromir.  
  
"Why in Middle-earth do I get the most daranged friends.", mummbled Aragorn.  
  
"Just lucky!", cheered Arwen.  
  
"Hey, where did the hobbit's go?", question Gimli has he emptied his cup.  
  
"We're here!", said Merry and Pippin has they came running up. They each had elven writing on their foreheads.  
  
Pippin frowned than said, "Those pshyco elves wanted to keep us has pets."  
  
Aragorn bent down and read Pippin's forehead. "It says 'Property of Elrond' but it's crossed out and under it is 'Repossed by Legolas'!" Than he turned to Merry, "Hmmm... 'If found, return to Haldir'!"  
  
"That doesn't explain where Frodo went off too.", reminded Gimli.  
  
Just than Frodo walked out of the kitchen with a bag of chips, a jar of salsa, a litter of cola, ten bags of m&ms, and a jar of pickels. They looked at him oddly than jumped when Gandalf shouted , "No you don't... wait, nevermind. That just Saruman's stash of goodies. Continue."  
  
"Good, I have the munchie's. Who's with me!", replied Frodo.  
  
"Me!!", shouted Merry and Pippin has they chased after Frodo and his arm load of junk food.  
  
  
The other room...  
  
"I make the better Cher than you do!", proclaimed Goldberry.  
  
"Sure diva you got the voice but you ain't nothing without a wonder bra!", snaped back Galadriel who left Sauron in the the coner to cut out snowflakes from paper while singing, "Revalations, revalations. 21-8, 21-8. Liers go to hell, liers go to hell. BURN, BURN, BURN." (If you have the King's James version you know what I'm talking about).  
  
"Personally, I see Goldberry has Madonna and Galadriel has Cher.", put in Isildur.  
  
Than three hobbit came in and dropped a huge amount of munchies on the table. They noticed that Gollum had escaped and mostly likly would not wish to return.   
  
Two of the hobbit's ran back out and than came back in while chanting, "Sam just got layed!"  
  
Frodo laughted, "And everyone thought he would lose his virginaty to me."  
  
Merry and Pippin blinked than stood there while shrugging at each other.  
  
"Well, well. Frody, we didn't need to know that but thanks anyway.", piped Legolas has he skidded over to the hobbits with Haldir right behind him.  
  
"Well, it's those damn FF.net authors that keep doing it."  
  
"I know what you mean. Those fan girls are a accident waiting to happen."  
  
Haldir rolled his eyes, "Lego, you know you love the attention!"  
  
"I know... damn that Orlando Bloom and his dashing good looks."  
  
"Dude, get over yourself", grummbled Merry.  
  
"Anyway, who layed Sam?", questioned Frodo.  
  
"Roise, gods gift to hobbit men.", grummbled Pippin.  
  
"He he, your jealous."  
  
"Awww, shut up."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
You knew it was coming! The buzz from there boozes was wearing off and the sedative was kicking in. Althought Haldir and Legolas where still taking turns on giving each other piggy back rides, the party had relativly calmed down.  
  
"We tryed this already! Remember, I won!", said Sauron has he know sat at the kitchen table.  
  
"You did not! You left wit blondy!", replied Isildur has he repetativly stabbed the table with a steak knife.  
  
"Bastard."  
  
"Asshole."  
  
"Man slut."  
  
"Son of a bitch."  
  
"Bastard."  
  
"Ha! You already said that one!", smiled Isildur.  
  
"Son of a whore!"  
  
"Too late, I win know on to the drinking game."  
  
"Sure, but if I lose than I will curse you into eternal damnation and your soul will burn in the fires of Mount Doom for challenging one of much higher authority than you."  
  
Isildur raised an eyebrow, "Whatever, you need to lay off the heavy shit."  
  
Isildur poured himself a shot than downed it. He filled up Sauron's shot glass. He looked at the glass and stared at it for a minute. "Well!?!", asked Isildur impatiently.  
  
"Well what... just wait you insolent Gondorian."  
  
"Just drink it."  
  
"No I think I have your glass from last time."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, I think I should get a new one."  
  
"Grr... drink the damn thing already!"  
  
"Fine, fine. Has long has you don't have some horrible disease.", replied Sauron than he downed the shot.  
  
After seven more shots and the fact that he was already smashed has hell, Sauron passed out on the table.  
  
"Sweet! I won! In your face!", smiled Isildur drunkly who was still fiddling with the knife. He than went on to pass out and the knief sliped from his fingers. The sound of it hitting flesh than the table was the last thing heard throught out Isengard. Well, and Saruman's bitching from outside.  
  
  
Last word: Some people write humor during sugar highs, hyper rushs, and drunken glee. I write from my insomniac insanity and lack of sleep. Anyway, I wrote this has soon has I read a death threat from a reviewer. Said "just kidding" but you can never be to sure. O_o Oh yeah, next chapter is alot of hangover mishap and a trip to the ER... cool... morphine botton. 


	5. The Day After

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By: Kitty-chan  
Chapter 4: The Day After  
  
  
"Ooowwww... my head hurts. What did I sleep on.", mummbled Isildur from the hard tile kitchen floor. He forced himself up but wobbled a bit. He caught himself on the kitchen table than let out a girly scearm and jumped back away from the table.  
  
"Call 911! Call 911!", he shouted has he ran thought out the tower and the once passed out party goers forced themselves awake.  
  
"Shut the hell up!", came the tired moan of Elrond from the couch.  
  
"You fool, I'm sure you know how to use the phone.", came Tom's voice from the floor.  
  
Gandalf had forced himself up and dragged his feet over to Isildur. "What is it?", muttered the wizard.  
  
"Finger, blood, gone, knief, kitchen, Sauron, table!", panicked the man from Gondor.  
  
"What? Calm down and form sentances! It sounds like Sauron gave someone a bloody death in the kitchen with a knief and took the finger and the table!", said Gandalf has he slapped some sense into his roomie.  
  
Isildur took a deep breath than dragged Gandalf to the kitchen. Gandalf took note of the crime scene and said, "Guess we should clear this place out BEFORE we get the authorities down here."  
  
"Why not get the Nazgul to drive him there?"  
  
"Better to be safe than sorry."  
  
After forcing the others to leave which didn't happen easly. The hangovers where heavy on all of them. Most the high schoolers where trying to think up excuses for when they got home. The college student didn't have that big of a problem. The Nazgul where the only ones left and where to drive there Lord to be down to the hospital. They also spent the time searching the kitchen for the missing finger... more importantly the missing ring. Yet, there was still one problem... Sauron was still asleep.  
  
"Hell no! I ain't waking his crazy ass up. You do it.", protested Isildur.  
  
"Nope, your the only witness.", remined Gandalf.  
  
"Hey! All my munchies are missing!", shouted Saruman from over at the fridge.  
  
Gandalf got a wicked smile, "Oh, Saruman. Would you do us the biggest favor?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Wake up Sauron."  
  
"Okay", shrugged Saruman has he poked the black clad man with a fork.  
  
"Dude, he just lost his finger. He dosen't need to be stabed in the back with a fork!", pointed out Gandalf.  
  
"I can't believe he slept threw the whole thing.", snickered Isildur.  
  
"Well, he did drink alot. So did you. So did I. Hmmm... see a pattern here. Well, what are you waiting for? Wake him up!"  
  
Saruman shrugged again and pushed Sauron out of his chair and he hit the floor with a hard thud. There was groan from the floor and a harsh mutter, "I feel like shit. My hand hurts. I have the munchies and my finger's missing and... wait a minute. My fingers missing! That stupid son of a bitch, dumb bastard!"  
  
At that point, Isildur jetted out of the room before he was spotted. Sauron sat up from the floor and than a look of horror came over his face.  
  
"That little shit! He took my damn ring! It took ages to make that thing and when I finally do, some druken fool from Gondor hacks off my finger!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After the Nazgul had dragged Sauron off to the hospital. Gandalf and Saruman locked up Isengard and headed back to campus. Gandalf had no clue where Isildur went but knew sooner or later he wold show up at the dorm.  
  
Gandalf only waited thirty minutes until Isildur finally showed. "What took you so long?"  
  
"I hitch hiked all the way from Isengard."  
  
Gandalf rolled his eyes than questioned, "So, you 'dropped' the knief?"  
  
"Yeah, but I can't remember where I put the damn finger. So, what happened after I left?"  
  
"Well, he kept babbling about a ring and how he was gonna make a vodoo doll out of all your family."  
  
"Really... odd."  
  
Gandalf raised an eyebrow at Isildur's wet kanga pocket on his pull over, hooded sweatshirt. "What's in your pocket?"  
  
Isildur reached into his pocket that he had noticed was carrying extra weight. He pulled out a wet baggy full of ice and tossed it to Gandalf. He open it and reached inside than pulled out an ice cold, turned blue, finger.   
  
"Note the black nail polish, this must be Sauron's finger."  
  
"Dude, I had it in my pocket the whole time. Freaky.", said Isildur has he grabbed the baggy and digged threw it some more has he pulled out a ring.  
  
"Sweet! In your face Sauron! Ha ha! I got it! I got it!", cheered Isildur has he pocketed the ring.  
  
"Shouldn't you give that back", pondered Gandalf has he possed the finger back into the baggy.  
  
"Nope! It's gotta have some evil power but what the hell. It looks neato."   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Now hold very still. This will feel like a bee sting.", said the old docter has if he was talking to a small child.  
  
"Wait, whats in there?", questioned Sauron has he eyed the needle.  
  
"Oh, just morphine to dull the pain."  
  
"Hey, don't I get one of those morphine bottons?"  
  
"Only if your in serious and continual pain."  
  
"So, losing a finger isn't on your can do list?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Damn", muttered the goth has the docter injected the needle.  
  
"Now what color of string do you want for you stiches?", asked the docter.  
  
Sauron looked at the old man has if he where blind. The docter, realizing his painfully appearent answer, shrugged and said, "Forget I asked. Black it is!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Boromir and Faramir climbed over the gate of their house. They darted across the lawn and pressed themselves against the house. Trying not to be seen. They tryed the back door but it was locked and they where left without a key. Boromir looked up at his window on the second floor.  
  
Faramir dived into his open window that was on the first floor. He gustered for Boromir to follow. He entered his brothers room than snuck up stairs to his room. Un- caught. They had got away with another one.  
  
Eowyn and Eomer pulled off something simular and made it in without being caught. Elladan, Elorhir, and Arwen had also used their sibling trust to sneak inside their house.  
  
Aragorn wasn't has lucky and he had to use the front door while his mother waited down stairs for him. Busted. Gimli also failed at sneaking back inside. He tripped over the lounge chair and woke his parents. Legolas and Haldir didn't have any problems sense they both came from elf families and could sneak anywhere. The five hobbits had the best lad out plan... they told their parents they where going to an 'innocent' sleep over.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sauron walked into his dorm, still feeling like shit. Than he noticed the door to the closet rattling has if something inside was thrashing about. He remembered Celeborn and opened the closet has an elf flopped onto the ground into the middle of the floor.   
  
He was still bound and gagged has Sauron toyed with the idea of leaving him that way. Than he realized he had work to do. You know the usual... taking over Middle-earth, coming up with new torturing ideas, and poisining peoples innocence. Yet, today he had something different in mind, getting revenge and his ring back.  
  
He undid the ropes and let Celeborn go. The elf ran out of the room to go find Galadriel and complain about his roomie to her. Sauron took out his palantir cell phone and see if Saruman would be intrested. Than the Nazgul and some dude that nobody could remember what his name is (Mouth of Sauron).  
  
His plot to take over Middle-earth would soon form.  
  
  
AN: Short and not that funny but this is what I like to call a plot mover. It gets the boring crap outta the way and makes way for the good stuff.  
Preview: The campus has a black out and the students are forced to entertain each other. The ring finds a new keeper and than another one... will that piece of junk just make up it's mind! Oh... and the Council of Sauron... Elrond started a fad. 


	6. The Black Out

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By: Kitty-chan  
Chapter 5: The Black Out  
  
AN: This chapter will make up for the lack of humor and shortness of the last chapter (plot mover). Any who, I got my first flame : P The flammer referred to my fic has drowning in crap... well thank you Captain Obvious! This is supposed to be crap! Every author has that fic that is just random, pointless, no sanity encluded, crap! If you wanted angsty-romance-adventure go look somewhere else! Anyway, I thank everyone else for being interested in my crappy little story. ^_^  
  
"Yeah but didn't you see the movie!? You looked like a demented tin man that was possessed!", pointed out the midget.  
  
"Well, you have no excuse for being short! Your not a hobbit or a dwarf your... a morally bankrupt nome!", shot back Sauron.  
  
Saruman looked around the dorm a little confused (walked into this conversation late). He cleared his throat than went on, "My palantir cell phone is running out of minutes."  
  
"What? Who the hell are you calling on that thing?", protested Sauron has he glanced over at the Nazgul who where to busy playing "Grand Theft Auto" to pay attention.  
  
"Well, every other hour some dumb ass calls me. I have no clue who he is."  
  
At that moment Saruman's cell phone rings and he answers, "Sup, this is Saruman speaking."  
  
"This is the Breathing Man and the next victim will be at the highschool prom.", says a heavy breathing voice who is really Denethor.  
  
"Yeah well... click."  
  
"Did you just hang up on me?"  
  
"No, I said click."  
  
"Oh well bye.", he hangs up the phone than picks it up again. "Are you still there?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh... than click."  
  
"Did you just hang up on me?"  
  
"Uh... no."  
  
Saruman shrugs and turns off his phone. Sauron and the Morally Bankrupt Nome look at him dumbfounded. "So, who's the midget?", question the wizard.  
  
"It's nome, you ass!"  
  
"Sorry, so... uh... aren't we supposed be laugthing evil like and coming up with plans for world domination."  
  
"Not yet! I'm not proprly ready!", shouted the Morally Bankrupt Nome has he dove into the closet and came out wearing Hot Topic brand goth clothing. "I shall be the Morally Bankrupt Mini-Maia!"  
  
"But your not Maia.", frowned Sauron.  
  
"Well, Mini-Me was taken and the Mouth of Sauron sounds gay."  
  
"Pick another hinchmen name!"  
  
"Hmmm... the Morally Bankrupt Lt. to Sauron."  
  
"That works... what about Saruman? Got any hinchmen names."  
  
Saruman thinks a moment, "Ah ha! Saruman of the Many Colors!"  
  
"It makes you sound like a pansy."  
  
"Fine... the White?"  
  
"That will do."  
  
Suddendly there was a pounding on the door and the voice of Celeborn came from outside, "Damn it, Sauron let me in!"  
  
"Hell, no! Go away, I busy plotting veil acts of evil and so on and so forth.", yelled back the goth.  
  
"Fine, I will slip your mail under the door and go to Abrocrombie without you!"  
  
The Nazgul looked over at their wide eyed master. Who just studdered, "I... don't... shop... there. He's just kinding, right Celeborn?"  
  
"What about that one time you went in there and flirted with the cashier!"  
  
"Uh... simple misunderstanding! I was... uh... hey! The cashier at Preprocrombie is Galadriel! You can't prove that goth kid was me!"  
  
"Thats not what Galadriel told me! Oh, and stay away from my woman! I heard about what you did at that party!"  
  
"Damn Elves."  
  
"Damn Maia."   
  
A letter sliped in under the door and Celeborn's angery stomping could be heard growing fainter. Sauron grabed the letter than opened it.  
  
"It's from Mordor... it's a letter from mum."  
  
"Mum?", asked the nome.  
  
"Silence, I like saying it with an accent! Anyway... Morgoth died... thank god, I thought the old fart would never die!"  
  
"Does it have anything to do with the cyanide we slipped into his dentures?", questioned a Nazgul.  
  
"I hope so. Anyway, blab blab blab... I'm get all of Morgoth crap... blab blab blab.... dude, I'm loaded! Hee Hee, I get the Tower, the Mountain, and everything! Sweet! I'm gonna start my rule of Mordor by setting up a place for a mosh pit!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Meanwhile, down in the student lounge. Isildur, Gandalf, Gollum, Bilbo, and Elrond sat around the small round table playing poker. Gollum had a green visor on and dealt out the cards.  
  
"Damn it, I fold.", grummbled Elrond has threw down his cards.  
  
"But we haven't put the bets in", protested Bilbo.  
  
"Quiet, hobbit. The hand sucked so don't rub it in!"  
  
Bilbo shrugged, "I put in my... collector's Coka-Cola bottle"  
  
"Smeagol putss in hiss twenty bucksss"  
  
Isildur ponders for a moment, "I'll throw in this ring I jacked from Sauron."  
  
"I fold.", mutters Gandalf. Has the rest call. Bilbo puts down a four of a kind that was all jacks. Isildur put down a four of a kind with kings. Lastly, Gollum puts down a high straight flush.  
  
Isildur's jaw drops, "But... but my... ring?"  
  
Gollum gather the pot the hissed, "Correction, tis my preciousss."  
  
Gollum takes his winnings and leave to his dorm. Isildur is still looking more wide eyed than Woods did playing Baggines.  
  
"Man, he didn't even let us win our stuff back.", pouted Bilbo.  
  
Just than the lights flickered and than died throught out the campus. "Well, this is pleasant. Now what are we going to do?", grummbled Elrond.  
  
"Damn it, Gandalf did you bring your staff?", came Isildur's voice from the darkness.  
  
"Shit... I left in Isengard along with my Sum 41 CD. Damn it, this isn't my day!", griped the grey wizard.  
  
"Does anyone have a lighter?", questioned Elrond.  
  
Just than nine lighters lite around the outside of the table. "Eeek! Oh... nevermind. It's just the Nazgul.", sighed Elrond.  
  
"What is wrong with you people? Can't you announce yourselves like everyone else? Nnnoooo, you have to sneek up on us!", said Gandalf while he rolled his eyes.  
  
The nome jumped onto the table and pointed a finger at Isildur, "Where is it?"  
  
"Where is what?"  
  
A hand placed itself on Isildur's shoulder. He practically jumped a foot in his chair than noticed the hand only had four fingers and mummbled. "Eww, thats just gross."  
  
"You know exacty what the Morally Bankrupt Nome is speaking of!"  
  
"Oh, hi Sauron. It's just YOU."  
  
The nome grabbed Isildur's shirt collar and tryed to look mean but failed horribly. "Where's da ring, punk?"  
  
Isildur grabed the nome by the back of his shirt and handed him to a Nazgul. "I don't have it?"  
  
"Than where is it?", said the goth with a twich in his eye.  
  
"Er... uh... I lost it in a poker game."  
  
"Great, why didn't my all seeing eye see this coming."  
  
"I don't know but why didn't it see that football coming in the fouth grade?"  
  
"Shup up and don't remind me."  
  
"I think thats the day you started wearing all black. And than their was that tire swing inncident in the second grade... no THAT was when you started wearing all black."  
  
"Why must you bring that up, AGAIN!?"  
  
"Did the rope brake before, during, or after you got on? I can't seem to recall."  
  
"During... but what does that have to do with anything!?!"  
  
"Oh! Elrond do you remember that time in middle school when that rumor went around that Sauron lost his viginatiy to someone on the cheer squad."  
  
"Grrr!"  
  
"Oh, yeah! I remember that. Hey, was that true?", agreed Elrond.  
  
"Well, er... I don't wish to discuss that! Now where the hell's my ring!"  
  
Elrond who was completly ignoring Sauron, went on, "Hey, did you ever wonder why, when Sauron's drunk he's all cuddly with Galadriel who just happens to be a cheer squad leader."  
  
"Eek! O_o", gasped Sauron.  
  
"Yeah! I noticed that too!", shouted the nome.  
  
"Hey!! Your on my side!"  
  
"Well, it's true."  
  
"Grrr, where is my RING!"  
  
Isildur who was looking quiet pleased with himself said, "Lost it to Smeagol. So sorry... not really."  
  
Sauron grabs Isildur's hair and pulls out a bit. "Oww! Shit, that hurt! What was that for!?"  
  
"I need it for my voodo doll of you!", grummbled Sauron has he stormed off with the Nazgul in follow.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
While all this was going on. A hobbit named Bilbo had slipped away unnoticed. He stummbled thought out the long hall in the dark and eventually tripped on his face. His hand landed on a ring that he pocketed. (You don't need a flaming eye to know that was coming)  
  
He found the dorm he was looking for and he could tell it was the room because the of the cursing inside about dropping that damn hunk of gold when the lights blacked out. Soon Bilbo had a long and pointless game of riddles so he could get that damn Cola bottle back.  
  
He finally won and returned to his dorm. Later, Gollum had one last guest. He booted them out after convincing them that he lost the ring. The Nazgul spent the night searching the floor of the hall with only lighters to aid them.   
  
Sauron spent the night cursing himself for not making two Rings of Power. Than went on to bitch about getting crap flung at him all day.  
  
  
Last word: *clears throat* M'kay that was fun but I'm about to hit the floor from being so tired. It's 5 am and I haven't slept since 3 am yesterday. I hate being an insomanic. So... next chap. is the prom at high school. Tell me who you want to see together. I prefer straight since I'm sucky at writing slash but whatever floats your boat than you can request it. *passes out* bnhgjmnvhhmhn;;;olb *wakes up* sorry, head hit the keyboard. Oh, yeah I give credit to the small part in here I used from "Prom Night". 


	7. Prom Night... among other things

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By: Kitty-chan  
Chapter 6: Prom Night  
  
AN: Thank you Anon Reviewer. I realize I suck at grammer and spelling mistakes. I didn't get into college with my wonderful English grades *cough*F*cough*. I got in here by art and science skills and my roomie, Stokley is even worse than I am (she's just a math whiz! ). Anyway, thankies Brachan90 for the great ideas! ^_^ I almost forgot about Diamond! *slaps forehead* By the way, the Mary Sue idea was perfect! *Is now getting Croaky Frog's mental image* Eek! *shudders*. I don't know whats worse, being a grammerly challenged college student or a very odd LotR fan.  
  
  
"Why oh why did I take this job?", grummbled the grey wizard has he set up his disc jocky equipment again.  
  
"Why oh why must you drag me along?", whined Bilbo has he watched random teachers has they attemped to decorate the gym.  
  
"Because, you must suffer with me. I refuse to die in this horrid High School from boredom without a witness!"  
  
"Great, so ummm... how long do we have to sit here?"  
  
"Valar only knows."  
  
"Damn."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The high schoolers slowly started pouring into the gym has Gandalf sat there has bored has all hell. He was forced to take requests and play tiny booper music since the teachers didn't want any head banger music to get the students "violent". Yet, he was able to slip some punk, rap, techno, and hip hop into the mix.   
  
Bilbo was half asleep on his unsuitable fold out chair. Finally, Bilbo woke up when Frodo jabbed him with a plastic fork. "Hey, Bilbo what are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm being held against my will by DJ Gandy. So, who are you here with?"  
  
Frodo grins than points to a beautiful blond elven babe that was dancing and beckoning him to go dance with her.  
  
Bilbo's jaw dropped, "How did you get a date like THAT!?"  
  
"It's my big blue eyes! The chicks dig a hobbit with emotional eyes."  
  
"Riiiiight."  
  
"Well, gotta go.", said Frodo has he ran out onto the dance floor. He bumped into Pippin.  
  
"Hello, Pip! Who is this?"  
  
Pippin looked over at the sweet hobbit girl next to him and blushed, "Oh, this is Diamond."  
  
"Good for you Pip! Ya finally found a lady. I thought you would have turned out gay but you proved me wrong."  
  
Pippin shrugged like it wasn't a big deal than noted, "Seems Merry is a wall flower tonight. He didn't ask anyone."  
  
"I'm sure some fan girl will come along and sweep him off his feet."  
  
"Oh, they always do! Where's Sam?"  
  
"With Rosie... I think their having a little 'fun' in Aragorn's car."  
  
"Speaking of Aragorn... where is he?"  
  
"Don't know."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Is it just me or is Eowyn glaring at me.", pondered Arwen.  
  
"I think she's glaring at me.", said a wide eyed Aragorn. He spotted Gimli talking to Merry about the finer points of being a single male. Faramir was dancing with Eowyn who kept glaring in Arwen and Aragorn's general direction. Frodo was trying to dance with a tall elven blond. Pippin was happily showing off his brake dance skills to his hobbit date. Eomer, Haldir, and Boromir preferred to be pimpin it but failed. If Aragorn knew what Sam and Rosie had been up to in his car he would have freaked. He finally spotted Legolas and flaged him down.  
  
He came over with a blond haired, blue eyed, prefect in every which way girl. Arwen smiled and asked, "Who's your date?"  
  
"Mary Sue.", said Legolas but Aragorn could tell something was wrong... very wrong. Being his long time friend, Aragorn needed answer but couldn't ask in the company of this... so called Mary Sue.  
  
"Legolas, lets get the ladies some punch.", offered Aragorn.  
  
Legolas who knew what Aragorn was trying to do, quickly nodded his head. Has soon has they reached the table Legolas wispered, "You gotta help me! This phyco jumped me in an ally and put a knief to my back and forced me to be her date. She's phyco! Please, please get me outta here! I'll be eternally in your debt!"  
  
"Careful, she's watching us. We can't go out the front exit or she'll jump us both. Than make us her love slaves for all our naturally born life!"  
  
"Damn, thats a long time for me!"  
  
"I'm guessing she's gained imortallity just so she could stalk you till the day you die!"  
  
"No! If that happens than promise me you'll kill me!"  
  
"Damn, she's coming this way! Hurry, lets run for the exit."  
  
The elf and the ranger ran like hell for the door while dodging dancers. Mary Sue followed in a mad dash but she didn't sweat for it would ruin her perfect complextion. They duo finally made it outside but Mary Sue with super strenght had caught up and cornered them next to a parked car.  
  
"I've got you now my pretty and your little ranger too!", said Mary Sue with a demonic voice that would scare the crap outta any Dark Lord.  
  
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.", was all Aragorn and Legolas could say has they sat with wide eyed fear.  
  
Than they heard a battle cry and none other than Arwen and Eowyn appeared behind the demonic Mary Sue.  
  
"Sup, bitch. We're the only leading ladies running this joint know back the hell off.", growled Eowyn has Faramir tryed his best to hide behind her.  
  
"You know how many times I've lost Aragorn to one of you hussies! Check FF.net and you'll find out!", said Arwen with clenched teeth. (I don't mean to offend... some of those fics are really good).  
  
"Muuuhhhhhhhaaaaaa! I am the great Mary Sue! I can not be destroyed!"  
  
"Riiiiight.", comes the authors voice from out of no where. "Let's see... Alt+Ctrl+Delete. That should do it. Damn that Mary Sue virus."  
  
Mary Sue vanishes and everyone lets out a sigh of relief. They returned to the prom to carry out what they had started.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Damn it, just give the possessed ring to Frodo.", grummbled Gandalf.  
  
"But why?", pouted Bilbo.  
  
"Because, Sauron would never look for it in the high school."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"To many bad childhood scars."  
  
"Okay, fine!", grummbled Bilbo has sulked over to Frodo.  
  
"Here Frodo, take this evil ring that looks all scary and stuff."  
  
"Hey, thanks! Why do I have the feeling I'm getting screwed over in this deal?"  
  
"Er... um... don't know. Ask Gandalf."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Boromir, Eomer, and Haldir stood beside the punch bowl. "So... should I do it or you?", questioned Boromir has he tapped the bottle of vodka in his jacket.  
  
"May, I have the honors?", said Haldir with a sly smile.  
  
"Of course.", replied Boromir has he passed the small bottle to the elf.  
  
Haldir made sure no one was looking has Eomer and Boromir blocked the view of the teachers. He quickly poured the vodka into the red colored punch. The trio causally walked away like nothing happened. They leaned up against the wall to watch their plan play out.  
  
Soon, teachers where freak dancing with each other and when Gimli jumped onto a table and started to strip... well... all hell broke loose.   
  
"Harry Potter and all his friends are going to hell for practicing witchcraft!", slurred Faramir has he sat on Eowyn's lap.  
  
"Know just because people love those books dosen't mean you should insult them.", smiled Eowyn.  
  
Faramir began uncontroled weeping, "I sorry but... but... that Draco kid with his fucked up hair... he scared me."  
  
"Dear lord! It's a child! Hmm... mental note: get gaint three headed dog (that part was tight!) ".  
  
Arwen burst into laughter for no aparent reason. The three others at the table looked at her oddly. "What is it?", questioned Aragorn who knew damn well the punch was gonna end up being spiked.  
  
Arwen pointed to where Legolas and Merry where dancing together. Aragorn sent his "damn you" look over to Boromir who just shrugged with a goofy smile. Frodo ran over to Pippin and gave him a camera. The two hobbits dragged Sam and Merry out of the gym. Aragorn's eyes wided has he heard his car skidding away in the parking lot. Diamond and Rosie where confused about the hobbit's sudden disapperance.   
  
Aragorn could only mutter, "Damn you, Boromir. Damn you, Haldir. Damn you, Eomer. Damn those hobbits!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
What happened to the hobbit after the prom ( long preview of next chapter):  
  
Tom, Gandalf, Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, and Gimli stood in the shriefs office. The pudgy shrief sighed and said, "Tom, your here because has far as I have heard. Your house is a moble home in the Old Forest. Correct?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"The rest of you are here because you where a friend of these... missing hobbits. Correct?"  
  
They all nodded. The shrief sighed and sliped in the film that was discovered a day ago at the Barrow-Downs. He fast forwards it throught a clip of "Godzilla" until it showed static and than became focused again. The film shows Frodo in front of the camera with the Old Forest in the background. Sam is cooking something and Merry is putting up the tent behind Frodo.  
  
"Is it running?", questioned the hobbit.  
  
"Yes!", came Pippin's voice from behind the camera.  
  
"Hello and here we are shooting on location in the beautiful Old Forest near Bree. This a document to prove the Bree witch legends and I am Frodo. This is Sam and Merry with me. Filming is done by Pippin."  
  
The camera whirls around to face Pippin and he smiles at the screen and chirps, "Hiya!"  
  
The camera goes back to Frodo who is standing with Sam now, "Sam, please tell us about the tales of the witch that haunts this place."  
  
"Oh, some crazy old hag in Bree told us all about it!", replied Sam.  
  
"I think it's a crock of shit!", comes Merry's voice from inside the tent.  
  
"We can edit that right?", questioned Frodo.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Should I play the crazy old hag interview?", asked Pippin's voice.  
  
Sam and Frodo nod than the film cuts to a scene of this... well... crazy old hag. The lady begins to speak, "The first time I saw the witch was in the Old Forest. I was sitting by this willow tree when BAM! It started eatting me! I knew it was a trick of the witch but thats when some nice fellow saved me."  
  
Tom practicly gagged on his glass of water. Realizing he was that nice fellow and that tree was Old Man Willow.  
  
The film went back to the hobbits but its dark out and strange noises are heard all around the camp. Merry was running around in circles around the camera man (aka Pippin) and scearming, "Waaaaaauugggghhhh!"  
  
"Shut the hell up! We'll never get the noises on film with you doing that.", the camera whipped around to face Frodo.  
  
Sam was shivering next to him and mummbling, "What the hell is that? It's coming from all sides."  
  
"It's just those damn wood elves! For crying out loud.", grummbled Pippin.  
  
"Uuuuh huuuuh... thats what all the disbelievers say before their killed by the Bree witch!", said Frodo while trying to sound scary.  
  
Cuts to a morning shot of small piles of rocks surrounding the tent. "Oh, my god! Sam is missing!", shouted Merry has he pocketed some of the rocks.  
  
Camera turns to Frodo, "Damn, he ditched us here to finish the film on our own. That cheap son of a..."  
  
"Frodo! I'm gonna spend hours editing this damn thing if you don't stop screwing up!", shouts Pippin has the camera goes off.  
  
Camera goes on again and three hobbits are sitting in a tent. They looked freaked out and than shrill screams and maniacal cackling is heard outside. "That isn't wood elves.", mummbled Frodo.  
  
Suddenly the tent began to shake. The trio of hobbits run out of the tent screaming and Pippin is running with the camera and Frodo can be seen running ahead of them. The flim stops than starts again but it's facing Pippin, "I just want to say... that I'm so so sorry... to my mum and dad and Diamond and Sam and my cousin, Frodo."  
  
"I'm still alive you twit!", comes Frodo's voice from the background.   
  
"Oh, well than..."  
  
The camera shuts off and than starts again in the morning but their at the Barrow-Downs and it's foggy.  
  
Merry is facing the camera and holding a wooden stick figure doll, "We lost Frodo in the fog but looky at what he left us!"  
  
"You fool! The Bree witch left that!", said Pippin.  
  
Merry screamed than tossed the stick figure over his shoulder. They start walking when Merry shouts, "Oh dear... I lost the map!"  
  
"What?! Dammit, where is all my pipe-weed!"  
  
"Remind me to bust them for that if we ever find them again.", puts in the shrief.  
  
Suddenly they bump into a house on the Barrow-Downs. They hear Sam and Frodo scream with pain from inside.  
  
Merry runs inside with a frying pan over his head. Pippin runs in with the camera, "Merry, where are you? I can't find you."  
  
"Fool of a Took.", utters Gandalf.  
  
Pippin runs around the house randomly. Merry yells, "I'm over here!!"  
  
Pippin runs down stairs and Merry is facing the corner, "Hello? Merry? Oh my! Speak to me! What the fu... adhgjjhgkgjh!!"  
  
Camera hits the floor than goes off and the film goes back to the "Godzilla" clips.  
  
"Ya see Tom. We know you live out there on the weekends so if you ever learn anything new just talk to us.", the shrief led them outside and bid them farwell.  
  
Preview: In September of 3018 during the Third Age, three groups of students disappeared into the woods near Bree, Middle-Earth while shooting documentaries.  
  
A week later their footage was found.  
  
The Bree Witch Project. (dear lord, I've really lost it this time) 


	8. Bree Witch Project

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By: Kitty-chan  
Chapter 7: The Bree Witch Project  
  
AN: Ack! I'm snowed in! Can't leave my dorm or a thousand snowballs will be thrown in my general direction! So, I decided to finish up another chapter. Enjoy my big Blair Witch rip off!   
  
"So, this is how it goes. We need the dude that lives there, me. The magic person, you. The screwed up couple, Celeborn and Galadriel. The occult person, we'll be picking him up now. It's got to be like the Book of Shadows movie.", said Tom who drove a white van with the words, Bree Witch Hunt on the side.   
  
"Tom, the one in the movie was Wiccan not Wizard. Besides, we came out here to find the hobbits... not the witch.", said Gandalf from the passenger seat.  
  
"Whom is this occult person?", questioned Galadriel from the back.  
  
"Duh, the only goth in this story who could fill in the part of Kim.", replied Tom.  
  
"What! Hell no! I am not sharing a tent with Sauron!", whined Celeborn.  
  
"You live with him! You can spend a night in the Old Forest with him. For heavens sake, I had to bribe him with pipe-weed until he agreed to be our Kim replacement.", grummbled Gandalf.  
  
After picking Sauron up from the cementary (why he was there, only the Valar know). Than headed to the Prancing Pony Mini-Mart in Bree to get beer. They drove to the edge of the Old Forest than hiked all the way to their camping stop, next to Old Man Willow.  
  
Tom set up the area with cameras and kept one hand held one for himself. "Hey, Tom! Theres something weird about this tree.", said Celeborn has he gazed up at the willow tree.  
  
"It's just a tree. So... when do we start looking for the hobbits?", smiled Galadriel.  
  
"What hobbits? Did I get screwed into a missing persons search team?", questioned Sauron.  
  
"Kinda but I really needed a goth. You know, just in case there is a witch and we can pull a Book of Shadows spin off.", grined Tom has he started up his hand held camera.  
  
"Thats it... I'm outta here!", announced Sauron has he headed down the path but was tackeled.  
  
"Oops, sorry bout that.", smirked Aragorn has he picked up his camera.  
  
"Aragorn? What the hell are you doing here?", glared Gandalf.  
  
Legolas, Boromir, and Gimli where behind him. They had all their camping gear on them. "Bree Witch Tour and we're looking for the hobbits!"  
  
"Bree Witch Hunt! We're looking for the hobbit so go some where else.", piped Tom with his camera pointed at the high schoolers.  
  
"Why did you tackle me?", groned the voice of the goth on the ground.  
  
"You where in all black... I thought you where the witch."  
  
"Well, you should try looking for the hobbits at the Borrow-Downs. We clamed this spot first!", pointed out Galadriel.  
  
"Come on, Aragorn. I didn't drive all this way to stand around.", grumbled Boromir.  
  
"Fine, but you haven't heard the last of us.", warned Aragorn has the group of four headed off down the path.  
  
"My back..."  
  
"I just got a great idea! Lets tie Sauron to the tree and use him has witch bait.", grined Celeborn evily.  
  
"Oh crap.", muttered Sauron has he attemped to run but four college students jumped him and dragged him to the tree.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sauron had been let down after he promised he wouldn't run away. They tied a rope to him anyway and gave the leash to Galadriel (Gandalf found this amussing). Everyone ended up high and smashed anyway so they passed out and missed their whole camp site being thrashed.  
  
"My, cameras! There ruined! Who the hell did this!?", whined Tom.  
  
"They look like they where bitten off by a Balrog. I would know!", protested Gandalf.  
  
"We fell asleep! Those high school brats must have come back and trashed all our stuff!", shrieked Celeborn.  
  
"At least the tapes are still here.", shrugged Sauron.  
  
"How do you know?", asked Tom with a raised brow.  
  
"Urrgg, I have an all seeing eye! Can't you people grasp that?", grummbled Sauron has he tried to walk toward the tree but was haulted by his leash and fell.  
  
Galadriel dropped the leash, "Kinky, oh well."  
  
Gandalf shrugged and reached under the roots of the tree and pulled out the tapes, "Damn that Strider! He used to be such a nice kid until he started hanging around Boromir."  
  
"Okay, lets go to my place and watch the tapes. So, we can catch those little bastards in the act.", griped Tom has he gathered all his stuff.  
  
"Can I go home?", wined Sauron.  
  
"No! Galadriel grab the leash!", ordered Gandalf.  
  
"Okay.", she shrugged and picked up the leash at her feet.  
  
"I think your making Celeborn extremly jealous.", the maia smiled wickedly at his elven roomie.  
  
"Do you like the rest of your fingers or do you want them gone too?", shot back Celeborn.  
  
"Uh oh, the scrawny little elf boy is gonna kick my ass. I hope you know you've lost your elven cheer."  
  
"Eek! Oh lord! I not the perky elf I used to be! Damn this hangover!", weeped Celeborn. He than hugged his reluctant roomie, "I love you, man!"  
  
"I'm scared now. Okay lets go.", said Tom has he yanked Celeborn off Sauron who was trying to resist the urge to bite the leech like elf.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Welcome to my hummble home! Goldberry isn't here today but enjoy your stay.", said a now cheerful Tom.  
  
"Can we please get this over with!", complained the leashed Sauron.  
  
"Fine, follow me.", grumbled Tom. They followed him into a room with all Tom's camera equipment.   
  
"So... which film do we play first?", pondered Gandalf.  
  
"I don't know but we can't think without beer. Galadriel, will you go on a booze run to the Prancing Pony Mini-Mart?", questioned Tom.  
  
"Sure.", she answered and grabs the keys to Tom's van. Then dragged Sauron along with her.  
  
"Okay, lets get started.", Tom picked a random tape and popped it into the VCR.  
  
After two minutes of nothing interesting, Gandalf sighed, "I'm gonna snatch something to eat."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Ssoooo...."  
  
"So?", Galadriel raised an eye brow.  
  
"You gonna let me off this leash?"  
  
"Ummm... try no."  
  
"Damn... can I drive?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
Just than they pulled into the Prancing Pony parking lot. They managed to get the beer but not without almost getting ran over by a woman with a cart load of Spam.   
  
"Hey, this leash thing is pretty fun.", smirked Galadriel.  
  
"For you. Start the damn car before more hicks show up."  
  
"Thats not gonna happen."  
  
Sauron was getting that sinking felling that all men get once they knew a woman was gonna ask a billion questions and most likely bust into tears. Yet, the poor goth had no true clue what he was in for.  
  
Galadriel got a very wicked look in her face, "Your gonna end up with a limp after I'm done with you!"  
  
"Eek!"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The duo had returned to the shreiks of Celeborn, "Poor, poor Gandy is missing!"  
  
"What took you two so long?", questioned Tom.  
  
"Um... er... we ran into the witch! Yeah, the witch. Now what was that about Gandalf?", asked Galadriel trying to change the subject. Sauron was smiling widely like an idiot.  
  
"He went to get some munchies and vanished!", whined Celeborn has he latched onto Galadriel like a child.  
  
"All that remains is his hat.", annouced Tom has he held up a grey baseball cap. He got destracted by Sauron's overly happy smile, "What happened to you?"  
  
Galadriel nudged him with her elbow, "Uhh... he was cursed by the witch! Yeah, the witch!"  
  
"Errr... okay.", Tom was about to ask something else until the phone rang. He picked it up and answered, "Hello."  
  
"Tom we have bad news.", came the voice of the sherif.  
  
"Yeah, my shit was trashed and I may be able to prove who did it!"  
  
"It's more important than that! Another group of teenagers is missing. We found more film at the Barrow-Downs and guess who's on it?"  
  
"Uh... Aragorn?"  
  
"No, you idiot! It's your group and your telling them to head to the Barrow-Downs!"  
  
"Hey, we had nothing to do with their disappearance!"  
  
"We'll see about that!", ended the sherif has he hung up.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Okay now what?", grummbled Gandalf has he walked back and forth in the tomb like place under the hill of the Barrow-Downs.  
  
"I'm bored, hungery, and I smell. I've been here for a week.", whined Merry has he sat on the floor.  
  
"Well, I just happen to have this cell phone but it's a Palantir. I keep getting Denethor's voice mail.", said Pippin has he pulled out the cell phone.  
  
"You have a phone and you never told me?", growled Gandalf.  
  
"We already tryed it. We got Sauron but Pippin said he was busy.", pouted Legolas.  
  
"What kind of busy?", questioned the wizard.  
  
Pippin face turned red, "Uhh... there sounded like alot of pain. I'm guessing bondage but I may be wrong..." (Don't look at me... Duff Chick's the one that wanted me to give him some women and she meant it plural! He could be pimpin it!)   
  
"Fool of a Took! My mind is now scarred for that mental image!"  
  
"Oh, sorry."  
  
Aragorn shook his head, "Pippin, where did you get a Palantir from anyway."  
  
"When Grima grabbed it out of Saruman's backpack and chucked it a Gandalf."  
  
"So, thats what he threw at me. Took, give me the phone.", Gandalf says has he snatchs it away from the hobbit. He pushed in the first number on speed dial and waited.  
  
"Yup?", came the goth's voice.  
  
"Err... your not doing anything important... are you?", asked Gandalf carefully.  
  
Sauron sounded puzzled, "Whatever do you mean?"  
  
"Okay, this is Gandalf."  
  
"Oh, so you didn't die."  
  
Gandalf thought he sounded dissappointed, "Well, I'm traped under the Barrow-Down. There is no witch cuz it's really a barrow-wright. Can you get me out."  
  
"Nope.", and the line went dead.  
  
"Damn it! We're stuck!"  
  
"Isn't there a little tune that turns Tom into a prancing hick superhero?", questioned Frodo.  
  
Boromir whips out his handy FotR pocket size book, "Lets see here... Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow. By fire, sun and moon, harken now and hear it! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!"  
  
They all look at Boromir like he smoked to much of his share on the of pipe-weed. Boromir shrugged, "What, I more resourcful then just taking bullets for hobbits!"  
  
"Arrows.", corrected Sam.  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"So, where is Super Tom the Hick?", grummbled Gimli.  
  
"Damn, that slow van! Well what are we gonna do next chapter?", sighed the grey wizard.  
  
"The same thing we do every chapter.", pointed out Aragorn.  
  
"Try to catch a bus to Mordor so we can finally get rid of the ring and this fic can end?", suggested Frodo.  
  
"No, get high at Bag End than do something insanly stupid?"  
  
Soon the campers where saved by Super Tom the Moive Reject! The teens never ended up on milk cartons and Kitty-chan eventually got nailed by a snowball.  
  
  
Last word:  
No, I'm not some lost little tiny-booper that got magically sent to Middle Earth, or some warrior/ranger chick that was Aragorn's ex, or some magical all powerful elf (or half elf) princess and daughter of Galadriel, or the evil daughter of Sauron that turns goody at the first sight of Legolas, or a shiftshaping pyshic that is in some way a Vala or Maia. If I had to become a LotR's character then I would be... a shapeless, faceless, and nameless Nazgul. Why? Because villians have more fun and I'd get to be a band memeber in Shadout Mapes' fic called Sex, Pipe-weed, and Rock n' Roll (but I'll only be part of the unoffical groupies *sigh*) Read it or I'll eat your soul! It's the funniest fic I've seen in ages! 


	9. This is a sham!

How do I start? Well simply put, I can't stand writing LotR fan fiction anymore. I feel like my skills are lacking so much (making me so lame) and all I can write is fanfiction. I don't like using other people's ideas anymore and shaping my own stories to them. I want to be original and I personally find fan fiction childish (don't get me wrong. I love reading the stuff but writing it makes me sick with myself). My thoughts on this are even more so for Tolkien's work. I cannot degrade another person's life work to my own past time. I must leave Tolkien's works alone because I don't wish to deface the beauty of his writing. I also think the spirit of Tolkien is lost to the ff.net's lotr section (I'm not pointing fingers because I understand there are still a loyal few out there). Jackson worked wonders with the movie but the books left a deeper effect on me than the film. I have come to the conclusion that I must give fanfiction up and I thank all of you who had been interested. Here is what will happen to my LotR works (if they can even be called that):  
  
-Different Tune to the Same Song- I have quit my usless attempts to keep at this. There are two reasons I must quit this: to many people ask dumb questions or make dumb comments without reading author notes and this is the biggest insult to Tolkien's work. I have however passed the torch on (really a mini-mart bought lighter) to another author (who is a comedic mastermind) if he's still interested (I willn't force him if he changes his mind).  
  
-The other two pointless fics- They are far to pointless to try to save. I will be removing them soon.  
  
Sorry I must back out but look at it this way: If LotR was just a movie then I might not have given up. My new found respect for the written word contributes to my choice. Fanfiction isn't a bad thing but I can no longer go on writing it (sure I'll read it). I am now focused with creating original works instead of mimicing the foot steps of great authors. 


	10. The Rings

Different Tune to the Same Song  
By: Shadout Mapes  
Chapter 8: The Rings  
  
AN: Well, for the longest time, I sorta dropped outta the fanfiction groove, since FFN has become a MAJOR BITCH lately. But now I decided after seeing the author's notes I decided I'ddo y'all a favor by adding my inept (or as the author said; "comedic mastermind", though modesty forbids me...), uhhmm, comedy. I may even go back on my Sex, Pipe-Weed, and Rock n' Roll (my own fic, I'm sure you can find it yourself). Well, here goes.  
  
Gandalf was pissed. Or was it mega-pissed? No, no, pissed will do. Damn highschoolers. And that hick, the Bombadillo guy.  
  
As luck would have it, Tom Bombadil drove up then in his pimp van, and opened up the door, letting out quite a bit of smoke. A really annoying rock song was playing on the radio, Tom's signature tune, "Hey doll! merry doll! ring a dong dillo!/Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!/Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!"  
  
Despite being hungry, cold, hot, and, uhh, full at the same time, the rescue-ees all were apprehensive about going into the vehicle. And Sauron had snapped out of the daze from earlier (the pain was still there) from the song, and lashed out.  
  
"Turn the goddamned thing down!"  
  
"But it's just getting to the good part..." Tom argued, as the song said something about a 'Goldberry Goldberry merry yellow berry-o!"  
  
However, after turning his head and seeing the numerous angry faces staring at him, he got an embarrassed look on his face. "Man guys, I let you come to my trailer and stay for a while, and you guys thank me like this…"  
  
It was only a 30 minute drive to the local hospital, where they got everything straightened out with the police, and got everyone food and mended their boo-boos. I'm bad at this, so anyways, in the hospital, the doctor had finished up with the hobbits, and saw Sauron.  
  
"Excuse me, sweetie, did you get hurt out there, too?" This, despite making everyone else in Middle-Earth laugh, did not amuse Sauron.  
  
"I'm just fine."  
  
"Are you sure? You're limping! And… is that a bruise on your neck?" Sauron turned bright red, not previously noticing the hickey. The nurse suddenly got a serious face, "Oh, you poor dear, are there troubles at home?" This didn't help his embarrassment.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?!"  
  
Her voice decreased in volume, "Ohh, you poor little dear, tell me, who hits you, your mother or your father?"  
  
"MY FATHER'S DEAD!"  
  
"Oh, you poor, poor dear!"  
  
Gandalf decided that he'd bail Sauron out now, because his godlike wizard senses told him there was no more humor left in the situation.  
  
"Oh, it's alright, my friend here just walked into a door, and you know how it is." The nurse seemed to totally forget about the prior conversation.  
  
"Ohh, walked into a door, of course, I should've known!" She walked away, having served her purpose as a pawn in my little game. I think I'm supposed to laugh maniacally now.  
  
Anyhow, the gang got back to school. Long story short, they had sorta kinda gotten back to their regular niche. God, I'm bad at this. Well, long story short, Sauron was back on finding the ring.  
  
"Okay, Morally Bankrupt Nome, let's review. We lost ALL the rings except the ones on the Nazgul… I have a giant hickey on my neck which, if seen by my Wringwraiths, they might betray me… and finally, Celeborn ratted to the campus police that I kicked him out, so now he has to be here, too."  
  
"Hey! I have to sleep somewhere!" Sauron cringed.  
  
"Shut up and get back under the bed!" He sighed. "Wait… come here Celeborn." Celeborn just whimpered. He sighed, and called out, "Unholy keepers on my power!" Immediately nine motorcycles drove up outside the dorm, and nine goth guys dressed in black came in through the window.  
  
"Get Celeborn out from under the bed." The whimpering increased as Celeborn was dragged out. "Thank you, my servants." He walked up to Celeborn, grabbed his hand, and pulled off the ring.  
  
"Of course, I should've thought of it before! Whilst I cannot get the One Ring, I can in the meanwhile collect all the others!"  
  
"What's up with the Brit accent?" asked Saruman, somehow in the room.  
  
"Shut the fuck up, Saruman!" He turned to Celeborn, "Who did you give the other two rings?"  
  
"Uhh…. Uhh… Elrond and Galadriel…" He was sweating out of the wazoo.  
  
"Hey, Saruman, what's a wazoo?"  
  
"Hell if I know."  
  
"Right! Saruman, I need your help, I need you to get the ring from Elrond. You can take the Nome with you. I'll deal with Galadriel. Nazgul! You guys find out where the other seven were."  
  
  
"Okay, Nome. I'll keep radio contact with you. You wear this sneaking suit. You codename is Solid Snake, mine is Colonel Campbell. You need to get into Elrond's apartment, call me on Codec when you arrive. Any questions?"  
  
"Colonel! Are you not telling me the whole truth!"  
  
"This isn't going to be a spoof of the entire videogame, dumbass!" Saruman yelled. You see, he's a whiny bitch.  
  
The Nome went out onto the side of the building and shimmied his way to Elrond's window. "This is Solid Snake, I'm on check point."  
  
"Roger, Snake. I see age hasn't slowed you down one bit. I'll provide distraction effort. Over."  
  
"Elrond is in his dorm, proceed with distraction, over and out."  
  
  
Elrond was sitting on his desk, staring at the ring. It was a beautiful ring. Yes, it was his ring. A nice one, indeed. Beautiful. Such a faithful ring. He must never abandon it.  
  
The door knocked. Odd. There it goes again. Doesn't that mean something? Ohh yes, someone's on the other side. Always a clever door, it was. Beautiful door.  
  
He opened it up, and Saruman was on the other side. He managed to snap Elrond out of his daze with his whiny bitchiness.  
  
"Hey! Elrond! Wanna go for a pub at the local bar! Or better, strip club!"  
  
"What the hell Saruman, I barely know you, except when Gandalf gets drunk and talks about that time you got drunk and tried to have se-"  
  
"GANDY PROMISED NEVER TO SPEAK OF IT!" Then he saw the Nome going through the window, and remembered the mission.  
  
"Oh, well, Gandy, that silly old prankster, we have a thing going, you see-" he was interrupted by a giant crash coming from Elrond's dorm. Elrond started to turn around, but Saruman quickly grabbed him and turned him away.  
  
"So do you want to go to a pub or a strip club? Do ya?!" Another crash and what sounded like an explosion went off behind Elrond.  
  
"What was..?"  
  
"Huh? What are you talking about Elrond? Are you hearing things? I think you need a drink! Maybe at the local pub!" The window to Elrond's room broke as the Nome escaped. "Wait! Can't do anything! Gotta go!" Saruman left leaving Elrond confused in his trashed up room.  
  
Elrond turned around, facing the room, there were things strewn everywhere, and his toy rockets had gone off, leaving fire in a few places.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?!!" Elrond exclaimed at the sight. "WHERE'S MY RING!"  
  
  
Saruman laughed at the sound of Elrond's screaming. "Ah, that was a lot of fun," he said to the Nome. He picked up the school newspaper and read through it.  
  
There was a very interesting article in the school paper on this day. It involved many of the members of the Dwarves' Male Soccer Team. It seems as though seven of them werebeaten up. They claimed something was stolen at first, but when asked what, they denied it, and then muttered something about "They just want it for themselves." Why seven dwarves said this at the same time is beyond me, but whatever.  
  
  
Sauron had been standing in front of Galadriel's door for about an hour now. He finally decided to knock and get the ring back.  
  
He cleared his throat and said in a deep voice, to practice what to say, "Look Galadriel, I understand that Celeborn gave you a ring, and since I don't want to hurt you, I'd like to ask kindly that you give it back."  
  
Then the door opened, and wen Sauron saw her face, he melted. "Sauron?" She gave a large (and very sexy, if I may say so myself) grin. "Came back for more?"  
  
Sauron immediately tensed up. "Uhh, well, you see, uhh… well, Celeborn told me that-"  
  
"Oh, don't mind him, he gets a little boring for my tastes," she winked.  
  
Sauron's left leg gave out.  
  
"Woah, sorry, I, uhh…" She grinned, and helped him up.  
  
"Come in," she smiled and led him to her couch. "Now what were you saying?"  
  
"Eheh… well, Celeborn gave you this ring, you see, and, well, it was my ring first and I really really want it back…"  
  
Galadriel did the ol' puppy eyes trick. "Aww, but it was such a pretty ring! How about you let me keep it and I'll consider it a gift? Pleaaase?"  
  
Sauron sat there, his arms crossed tightly over his lap (you don't want to know why), and was sweating out of the wazoo.  
  
"Well, uh… wait a second! I'm not putting up with this anymore! What the fuck is a wazoo?!!"  
  
Galadriel's grin turned into a smile. "I can show you!"  
  
"Huh? Wait! Wait! WAIT! NO! What the hell?!! What's wrong with you?! Do you carry a chain wherever you go?!!!"  
  
  
AN: Well, It'll prolly be a mellinea until I update this again, so, we'll see what happens, eh? 


End file.
